The Andy Waits Radio Show

Screwy News and Musings

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

The grass may be greener on the other side... but it still has to be cut!

He won a Tony Award in 1962 and was nominated again twice more. He played various roles on TV, recently doing the voice of "Dirty Bubble" on Spongebob Squarepants. But I will always remember him as the "Big Banana" on the Bic Banana commercials of the early 1970s.
"...so bright and gay!" Indeed.

Indy 500? Not Quite
Scotsman Dario Franchitti won the Indianapolis 500 Sunday, although he didn't finish the race. Truth be told, no one did. But he didn't finish the race in the best time.

It was a rainy day in Indy, causing a three hour delay halfway through. After the restart, the racers were only able to complete 166 of the planned 200 laps.

Dario, who is married to actress Ashley Judd, said, "I kind of have half of an idea of what it means to win this race. I'm so happy."

The Indy 415 just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? They saved a lot of money on gas, though.

Lindsay Lohan Lives Lush Life
Just three months out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan spent Friday night partying until 5 a.m., when her chauffeur dropped her off to pick up her car. Bad move. About a half hour later, she careened down Sunset Blvd. in her Mercedes SL-65 convertible, flying over a curb and into some trees.

Allegedly. (Legal cover, you know.) Police caught up with Misss Lohan at a hospital where she was being treated for non-life-threatening injuries to her upper chest.

Lindsay turns 21 on July 2. Then, look out world! She can legally buy booze.

Paul Says John Was Pretty Darn Good
Paul McCartney has written songs with some pretty high-powered people: Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, and Elvis Costello just to name a few. Oh yeah, and that John Lennon guy.

Turns out that collaboration was Sir Paul's favorite.

As he put it to the BBC, "I think -- and I hate to say it -- there's inevitably a sense of disappointment because it was just so cool for John and me to be working together, because we started so young and knew each other's ways and minds."

So, to answer the question: Yes he still needs you, and yes, you still feed him. McCartney is 64.

Keys And Cellphones: Natural Enemies
A warning from Nissan America: your phone could leave you stranded.

Turns out that if Nissan's "intelligent keys" touch a cellphone during an outgoing or incoming call, the I-key code is potentially scrambled.

But don't worry. Who keeps their keys and phone in the same pocket?

News Flash: Soda Is Bad For You!
Your mama was right: all that soda pop is bad for you. But not for the reasons you might think, like rotting your teeth or gaining weight (although those are legitimate too).

A British university finds that the common preservative sodium benzoate can lead to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases such as Parkinson's. The problem happens because the preservative can switch off vital parts of a person's DNA.

Lindsay Lohan is so alarmed, she plans to stop putting cola in her whiskey.

"One what?" he asked.

"One of those Dollar Trees. Actually, I'd rather have one that grows 20s, but I'll take whatever you have."

They told me to try the nursery up the street. So I did.

Apparently, this "nursery" has never even heard of Dollar Trees. And get this: they won't watch my children either. A nursery turned my kids away! Sad.

Osmonds Invade TV
All seven of the Osmonds are hitting the stage in Vegas for "The Osmonds 50th Anniversary." Yes, Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jimmy, Jay... and even Donny and Marie will rock the house at the Orleans Hotel Showroom in Sin City. The shows will be taped August 13 and 14 for a PBS special to air next March.

Antiques Roadshow, anybody?

• Jesse Plemons, who plays Landry on the TV show "Friday Night Lights" is 19.
• Eric Delko from CSI: MIami... Adam Rodriguez is 32.
• A singer who got famous through Star Search...Billy Dean is 45.
• Baseball Hall-of-Fame pitcher Don Sutton is 62.
• Singer ("Tightwire") Leon Russell is 65.

The first winner of "Nashville Star" is 46 today.
Who is it?

Buddy Jewel,
who won in 2003.
and then topped the charts with
"Help Pour Out the Rain."